Ponderous questions

  1. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
  2. Isn't it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune tellers take economists seriously?
  3. If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra would they get a four-legged chicken with its own barcode?
  4. If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
  5. Why is there always one in every crowd?
  6. If all the world is a stage, where does the audience sit?
  7. Is it possible to have deja vu and amnesia at the same time?
  8. Why do hair shampoo instructions say "Lather. Rinse. Repeat"? If you did this, would you ever be able to stop?
  9. Who decided "Hotpoint" would be a good name for a company that sells refrigerators?
  10. .How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
  11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
  12. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called, "Holes"?
  13. If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?
  14. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
  15. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  16. When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
  17. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
  18. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
  19. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
  20. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  21. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  22. If horrific means to make horrible, doesn't terrific mean to make terrible?
  23. Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
  24. "I am." is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
  25. Could it be that "I Do." is the longest sentence?
  26. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
  27. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

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